Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo
If you’re doing this, it is because you, like the tiger, need enrichment and variety in your life. May I suggest cramming just a whole bunch of raw hamburger into a pumpkin and rolling it around your enclosure?
The number of times I have been delighted by witty banter only to find out later that I was “Flirting” is both unfortunate and disappointing.
“haha so what about that guy, huh?”
Me: what about him
“Well you seemed super into him”
Me: what why
“…dude you were flirting all night”
Me:
Me: Whoms't™™
I found out several of my female coworkers were planning on trying to get our male coworker to ask me out because “You guys kept flirting” but I was like “We were literally just goofing around. Like we literally just told jokes to each other. Literally just stuff that friends do, the same stuff you and I do.” I was definitely 100% NOT flirting but everyone thought I was
“You were laughing at everything TJ did!”
“He paper clipped a banana to the ceiling, Isabelle. That’s fucking bonkers”
so this kid he used to bully me in middle school before i got tough, well this is kind of a funny story. so i sugar from time to time but my latest
sugar mommys house is so extra and i didnt bring my glasses but im going through the house because she told me to make myself at home and i see a family photo and im just like he looks really familiar but i cant make out shit. and so she and i start talking and shes like yeah i have a son your age actually and im just like wait… and she was like you’ll meet him later when we go to the car show, and im just like fuckin wait.. and we get to the car show and its me and her we’re holding hands being friendly and shes like and heres my son. and i shit u not this is the same dude who used to fucking bully me in middle school and he starts fucking crying because he didnt know his mom was lesbian and i was just like hey its been a while, but im getting fucked by your mom.
i had a thought today like man, my ancestors would probably not approve very much of me being such an extravagant glutton, but then i was like wtf are u kidding. those dumbasses didn’t live on a fuckin potato ass diet for no minimalism. they didn’t do what they did, whatever the fuck it was, for me NOT to fucking eat my bodyweight in sashimi!!! they would be fucking ecstatic to see me making the most of my opportunities for plenty. they would be fucking cheering me on. every lice-covered cossack and illiterate serf and three-toothed yak herder in my lineage is with me in this restaurant, and they are going absolutely apeshit watching me try to fit an entire samosa in my mouth
me, standing in front of the burger king counter like the blithering hunger gibbon i am: i’ll have… uhhh… double whopper with fries. thank you. large please
the 500 mongolian tatar and polish jew ghosts behind me: [ERUPT INTO WILD SCREAMING AND HIGH FIVES]
can you believe there is a painting of cossacks going hogwild out there that fits this situation perfectly
I’m of the opinion they’d actually be really disgusted with us and they they’d see us as lazy, pathetic, and worthless.
Why? They fought their entire lives simply to survive. To see their descendants living in a degree of luxury that they never even conceived of? To see their descendants able to eat enough to get fat? (Being plump was considered highly desirable in many cultures, as it was a mark that you didn’t have to do backbreaking labor and had a surplus of food!)
They’d be thrilled for us.
They didn’t just fight for survival. Their blood was tied to the soil that they worked. They ate with pride knowing that the food they ate was food that they earned. They arose with the sun and fell into a restful sleep from the day’s labor. Labor to them wasn’t some terrible thing to be avoided (you lazy thing), it was something that gave them honor and purpose. Would they look at a 500 lb blob of androgynous biomass and think to themselves, “I’m proud of that”? No, they wouldn’t.
They had love for their families which is what gave them their purpose and allowed them to view labor as something that brings them closer to their god. That love of family extended to their country and their race. They found unification within a culture that valued hardness and strength within men and tenderness and fidelity within their women. This cannot be said for their modern day descendants who disavow families, glorify baseless hedonism, and has reduced men to feminized pussies and turned women into inferior men.
We happily eat up any lie that the elites tell us. We give them our information which is used to market damaging products to us; we give up our sons to fight senseless wars for countries that don’t give a fuck about us, if your child isn’t murdered in the womb; and we are tracked and monitored by those very same elites to ensure that we don’t commit the crime of wrongthink. The most egregious of acts is the surrendering of our race and culture to foreign barbarians who rape, pillage and murder at whim.
They wouldn’t be thrilled for you. They’d see you as no better than livestock.
‘About to go on a 47 page historical essay with sources, with an aside about ‘I’ve TALKED to my ancestors and they think the modern world is a marvel’
Oh. Wait. You advocate for an ethostate, fascism, nationalism, and ableism. Nvm. Your opinion doesn’t matter.
That was like, 1000% obvious at “their blood tied to the soil” and I stopped reading
Yeah, that’s the line that made me go ‘waitaminute’ too.
I love it when these people try to write essays about food and hard work and they just succeed in making it obvious to everybody that they themselves have never ever done a hard day’s work or gone to bed hungry.
And I’m just picturing my Rhinelander ancestors grinning through their three remaining teeth and clapping their middle-age-arthritic hands while the church and the local Ritter steal two thirds of the harvest out of the mouths of their starving rickety children like “Ain’t this just the bee’s knees? This experience has brought us closer to God!”
Like you can just TELL when someone has never had to dig rocks out of a vegetable patch and has never seen a cow IRL.
